Fixing Your Earth [Sadness] - 010 Harmonizing With Opposition

Sadness Results From Absence of Will

In the previous lesson, it was explained that the element of wind in the soul is an uplifting force which elevates towards the spiritual, whereas the element of earth in the soul is material and draws a person downward. To illustrate the contrast between wind and earth, we can see that at death, a person’s body lies flat on the earth, still and unmoving. The body is buried in earth, whereupon it returns into the earth, devoid of any life or activity. In contrast to this, the element of wind keeps the body moving.

The soul’s element of wind elevates and uplifts a person, enabling one to ‘shake off the dust’ on his soul. In terms of the powers of the soul, it is essentially the will (ratzon) which motivates a person. If we go deeper than this, it is actually the search for pleasure (taanug) which motivates the will. A person wants anything either because he seeks pleasure, or because he wishes to avoid pain [thereby maintain his pleasure]. Therefore, at the root of the will is the motivation for pleasure.

Wind in the soul enables a person to be motivated, uplifted, and to move and progress. Therefore, the soul’s element of wind is mainly revealed through the power of the will. The will is the very motivating factor behind the movement of the soul’s wind. When one’s will is active, the element of wind in the soul will be activated and it will make a person want to move.

The weaker one’s will, the less he will want to move, and in turn, the sadder his soul becomes. A person feels crushed and dispirited when he is sad, and it is really because his element of wind is not active. When there is a loss of will\wind, the element of earth will dominate, leading to sadness. Therefore, the more a person is making use of his will, the more that his element of wind will be able to overpower his earth, and the further he will be from sadness. By contrast, when one’s will is absent, there is resulting sadness.

The Sadness That Results From Constricted Movement of the Soul

The wind is able to move in six directions – in either of the four directions of the world, as well as above and below. Fire will only move upward. Fire gets its power from wind, and then it can rise. Water can only descend.

When a person balances his element of wind, he is able to move either upward (fire) or downward (water). But if one can only move in a certain direction, he will either be able to move either upward or he will be able to move downward. This results in sadness. Why?

If a person is only moving upward – the element of fire [i.e. always aspiring for higher levels and goals, and never satisfied with any previous accomplishments] - he will always be drying himself up of vitality, because he is always destroying his previous level in order to go higher. And if one can only move downward [in favor of achieving higher levels of growth, he chooses to connect to others and influence them, out of his love for others]- the element of water - he will be drawn downwards, towards the element of earth, the lowest element. If a person can only ‘move’ in his soul through his soul’s element of water, his water will send him below, towards earth.

Sadness Which Comes From Water-of-Wind-of-Earth: Only Able To Move Downward

In this lesson, we are discussing the sadness that results from water-of-wind-of-earth. This is when the movements of one’s element of wind are only moving in one certain direction – water - which sends a person down to earth, just as the nature of water descends to the earth.

On a deeper level, this also resembles the sin with the Eitz HaDaas, which was “desirous to the eyes”. Desire is a trait which is rooted in the element of water (the root of experiencing pleasure). Although there are many explanations given of the nature of the sin, one of them is that Adam and Chavah were being motivated by a desire for taanug, pleasure. The element of water – in the form of the desire for pleasure - caused man to sin, which meant that from now on, man would descend to the level of the element of earth: sin, death, and perpetual sadness.

When water/desire/pleasure brings a person down to his element of earth, the result is sadness. This is the sadness that results specifically from water-of-wind-of-earth. When one’s element of wind can only move downward, his element of water will naturally pull him down to earth (sadness), as it is the nature of water to descend towards earth.

Sadness Results From Staying At An Extreme

The element of wind can contain opposite elements, fire and water. It can move upwards with fire, or it can move downward with water. Thus, wind can integrate opposite elements together. Wind can move in all of the six different directions, which are all opposite from each other. When one has a repaired element of wind, it can also integrate together two opposing elements, such as fire and water.

Sadness results whenever a person is drawn towards any one extreme and he isn’t able to integrate two opposite directions together. Sadness is a trait that results from an impaired element of earth, and it will either come from increased dryness in the soul (“fire”-of-earth), or from increased heaviness in the soul (“earth”-of-earth). In either case, sadness is always the result when a person is only able to move in one extreme.

To illustrate the idea, we can see that the earth is easily scattered. After death, the body disintegrates into the earth and becomes spread apart, because there is nothing holding it together. When the body is without a soul, it doesn’t have the “wind” to keep it together, and it falls apart. In contrast to earth, which spreads things apart and cannot integrate elements together, the wind is an integrating element. The wind is likened to the soul, for the soul is called ruach chaim, “spirit of life”, a term that connotes the element of wind, and it is the soul which holds the body together. When the soul leaves the body, the “wind” (soul) has left the earth (body), and the result is that the body becomes scattered.

To illustrate the idea further (how sadness comes from staying at an extreme), as mentioned before, sadness is always the result of either too much earth (stagnancy, or heaviness, and or scattering) or too much fire (destruction, or dryness). These are two different extremes: when a person is generally pulled downward (earth) or when a person is generally pulled upward (fire). 

Using “Wind” In The Soul To Integrate Opposites Together

Since sadness is the result of being able to move in only one direction, the more a person connects to the element of wind’s power to integrate opposites together, the further he will be from sadness.

Death is a state of separation of the soul from the body, and death also separates man from another. The first time in the Torah where we find the term “sadness” is when Chavah was cursed with “sadness” (etzev) of the pains of pregnancy and childbirth. The Gemara says that after the sin, Adam separated from Chavah for 130 years. From here we see that sadness leads to separation. Therefore, in order to counter sadness, one needs to leave the state of “separation” – the fact that he cannot integrate two opposite directions together – and, in turn, to develop the power of integrating opposite directions together.

To summarize the idea, the root of sadness is when one is at an extreme and he isn’t able to integrate opposite aspects together, and he remains in a state of separation. In contrast, the more a person connects to the power of integrating opposites together, the further he will be from sadness.

Developing The Power To Harmonize With That Which Opposes Us

Now we will explain how to practically actualize to this idea.

Each person has a certain personality contained in his soul, which is a part of his havayah (existential self), and each person also faces many different factors that directly oppose his personality. For example, Hashem has designed the Creation in a way that man and woman have opposing natures. The Toray says that Hashem created woman “as a helpmate to oppose man”, meaning that a woman’s nature is opposite than a man’s. This is an example of an “outer” opposition, though, for it only exists on the outside of oneself. There is also “inner” opposition that one faces: within oneself. We each have a certain nature that is dominant, and we also have parts in our own nature that oppose our dominant nature.

Ever since the first sin, when Adam was cursed with death and was told “You are earth, and to earth you shall return”, the “earth” in the soul became dominant on a general level, and the true element of wind left the soul. Although the element of wind still exists in the soul, its power today is far smaller than in the original state of man, before the sin. From that point onward, even our element of wind functions on the level of “earth”: the current level of the element of wind which we have is not the absolute wind, and it is only wind on a level of earth. In spite of this, however, there is still an “imprint” of the original element of wind that still exists, deep in the soul, for there is a rule that even when a spiritual light is removed from the world, an “imprint” of the light still remains.

Therefore, even in our current state after the sin of Adam, we still retain some degree of the absolute “wind” in the soul, which contains the ability to integrate aspects together. This is a very fundamental point: Every person has some power of the original light of before the sin, to integrate opposites together. Not only do we still retain this power in the soul, but it is actually the secret behind all of man’s inner vitality.

One should tap into this power by trying to identify whatever opposes him, both his outer and inner oppositions, and then he should identify his ability to integrate opposites together. Since every person has earth and wind in the soul, it is impossible for any person to avoid clashing with another’s personality, for one’s person’s earth will inevitably be opposed by another’s wind, and vice versa. This is the implication of the words of the Sages, “Just as all their faces are dissimilar from one another, so are their opinions different from one another.”[1] In spite of this, every person is able to get along, on varying levels, with others. One needs to identify his ability to do so, and then expand this point further, so that he can use this ability to harmonize his personality with those whom he needs to deal with regularly, who have an opposite personality than his. One is already using this power, and he needs to identify it and then expand it further, so that he can connect his element of earth with his element of wind.

On a practical level, when it comes to issues in marriage, where spouses encounter oppositions with each other, counselors today will generally try to see how the opposite personalities can somehow live together in peace. However, this advice can also be taught to gentiles, and perhaps even animals can be trained to live harmoniously together. The Torah approach is, that after the differences and opposite personalities have been discovered, the work is to see how they are each helpmates to each other – how they can each integrate the opposite personality into their own.

Due to the time constraints of this lesson, there isn’t enough time left to give some practical examples of it. If there would be more time, we could provide more examples. But the idea has been said. One needs to identify his power to integrate aspects together.

Example – Getting Along With Opposite Personalities 

Here is one more example of the idea.

A person lives with his family, and each family member has different personalities. With some personalities, he can really connect well to them, and with others, he can get along with them, while others have a personality that bother him. A parent may connect well with the personality of one of his children, a little less with another child, while another child’s personality ‘gets under his skin’. He should try to see if there is another person in his life whom he gets along with even though there is somewhat of a personality clash, and then try to apply it to the relationship he is facing a challenge in. For example, his brother may get on his nerves, but he has a friend with a similar personality and yet he finds that he can get along with him. So he can discover that he does have a power to harmonize with another personality that he doesn’t normally like, and then he can try to mimic this in his relationship to his brother.[2]