Fixing Your Water - 008 Visual Desires | Part 2

דע את מידותיך הדרכה מעשית מים – תאוה 008

Summary of the Previous Chapter

We will continue, with the help of Hashem, our discussion on the topic of desires, which stem from the element of water [in the soul]. Previously, we began to discuss visual desires, which stem from the fire-of-earth-of-water.

One way to fix the problem of visual desires, which we explained in the previous chapter, is to get used to concentrated, visual focus. By focusing on a point in what you are looking at, you train your eyes to become more focused and not to wander around unrestrained.

The Second Solution: Closing The Eyes

Now we will present a second solution to visual desires.

We have five senses – sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. Sight is unique from all the senses in that we have eyelids which can cover over our eyes and prevent us from seeing something in the first place. By contrast, the other senses, while of course we are able to stop them from working, do not come naturally equipped with anything to stop them from functioning. If we accidentally heard something, tasted something, touched something, or smelled something, there was nothing we could have done to prevent this.

Of course, we can close our ears, mouth and nose, and we can prevent ourselves from coming into physical contact with something, but by the time we close off any of these senses, we’ve already sensed it. Our senses of hearing, smell, taste and touch do not come naturally equipped with anything to stop them from functioning. Our eyes are unique in that we can shut them with our eyelids, and in this way we can prevent ourselves initially from seeing something in the first place.

In addition, our eyelids close on their own when we go to sleep. Hashem created our eyes with two simultaneous functions – we can see with them, and in addition, Hashem set our eyes to a kind of default mode in which they close. But the fact that our eyes close is not “another” function of our eyes; it is rather an ability that is already built-in with our eyes.

Sight and non-sight are the two alternating abilities of our eyes, but they are not two separate powers – rather, they are to be understood as two sides of the same ability. In our eyes, we can see, and we can always close them and not see; these are the two alternating abilities of our eyes.

The depth of this is as follows. Sight is really the root of our senses. When a person sees, he is led to one thing after another. Therefore, closing the eyes cannot be defined merely as ‘not’ seeing; that’s only a superficial understanding. Closing the eyes is the power that a person has to leave his senses and enter more inward into himself.

Of course, when a person closes his eyes, he can still smell and hear and use his other senses, but it still represents the idea of leaving the senses [because since sight is the root of all the senses, detaching from sight will essentially mean a detachment from all the senses].

How Closing The Eyes Prevents Visual Desires

Let’s try to understand this better.

Closing the eyes is called atzimas einayim; the word atzimah comes from the word etzem, “essence.” In other words, closing the eyes helps a person begin to reach his essence. It can help a person reach his aspect of etzem m’atzamai, “bone of my bones”, which is referring to one’s actual essence.

When a person closes his eyes, he has the key to fixing all his evil desires, and in particular, it solves the desires and lusts that are vision-related. Visual desires are essentially fed from the fact that the person is being [dragged’] from one kind of visual sight to another. But when a person connects to his essence, he is going in the opposite direction of getting dragged after his sights.

In clearer language: the more a person lives and experiences his actual essence, the less he will become dragged after desires; and vice versa - the more a person is dragged after desires, he becomes more distanced from experiencing his true essence.

Closing the eyes is therefore not just advice that prevents you from seeing improper sights – it essentially helps you stop all desires, because it brings you more inward, into your actual essence.

Imagination

What happens when a person closes his eyes? When a person is sleeping, imagination takes over (as the Vilna Gaon and others have explained). This is a more inner kind of vision. Imagination can also “drag” a person, and in fact, it can drag a person even more than his physical vision can drag him.

When a person is using his physical vision, his vision is limited. But with imagination, a person can go above the limits of regular vision. He can imagine he is in another country; he can imagine that he is not bound at all to any limits of this planet earth, and he can imagine things that do not exist at all.

On a deeper note, Chazal say that “The eyes see and the heart desires” – the depth behind this is that the “heart desires” something that the eyes saw, using the power of imagination.[1] The imagination takes the visual experience which the eyes saw and expands the vision, dragging the person to all kinds of places through the mind.

(Chazal say that if someone saw a Torah scholar commit a sin at night, he should judge him favorably and assume that the Torah scholar did teshuvah already the next day. The depth behind this is that a Torah scholar knows how to stop his imagination from dragging him after the imaginative thoughts, by entering into the true thoughts of the mind, machshavah.)

Thus, visual desires awaken imagination, as we see from Chavah when she saw the fruit of the Eitz HaDaas, that it was “desirable to the eyes”. The mind’s imagination can “drag” a person when he lays sight on something, and it is even more powerful than the dragging effect which is brought on by visuals.

Thought Vs. Imagination

Thus, when a person closes his eyes after seeing something improper, this may be even more detrimental to him in the long run, if he is the kind of person who has a very vivid imagination.

With most people, though, their imagination becomes more dominant only when they sleep, and not as much as when they are awake; therefore, closing the eyes is a solution that helps most people avoid lusting after improper sights. But if a person has a very dominant imagination throughout the day, he should not make use of the solution of closing the eyes, because when he closes his eyes, his powerful imagination will take over, and it will only ‘drag’ him further into fantasizing about what he just saw.

If a person’s imagination becomes weakened when he closes his eyes, then closing his eyes can help him enter better into his real thoughts; his “machshavah”.

So practically speaking, most people, when they close their eyes, can enter their real thoughts and avoid the imagination. Therefore, closing the eyes can help most people leave the allure of visual desires and instead enter into thinking mode.

Of course, it doesn’t totally save a person from visual desires, because this solution only addresses the external part of the problem of visual desires. But it definitely helps a person temporarily to avoid the object of the visual desire that he is faced with. So although this deals with the external aspect of visual desires, it is definitely helpful. This is the first part of the [second] solution to fixing visual desires being presented here.

(But as we mentioned, there are some people who have a powerful imagination, and when they close their eyes, their imagination becomes even stronger, and they fantasize about what they see, making it even more difficult for them to avoid lusting after the improper sight. For such people, closing the eyes when being faced with a visual desire will only prove detrimental and it will cause them to get ‘dragged’ even more after the visual desire, because their strong imagination drags them into fantasizing about the object of the desire.)

Therefore, the solution of closing the eyes [when faced with a visual desire] is a solution that is helpful for most people, and although it doesn’t totally solve the problem, it is still helpful enough to save a person temporarily from getting dragged after a visual desire [but for those who have a very strong imagination, this solution should not be used].

Using The Power of Thought

Closing the eyes helps a person get involved with thinking – not with imaginative thoughts (dimayon), but with real thought, machshavah; and this takes a person out of the visual sight he was occupied with. When faced with a visual desire, close the eyes, and get busy with various thoughts that occupy your mind.

Even if a person thinks about various cheshbonos (calculations) that are on his mind – permissible kinds of thoughts, of course, and not, chas v’shalom, forbidden kinds of thoughts - it is helpful. If a person is at the level of thinking about Torah or about a matter of holiness, that is an even higher kind of thought.

Understandably, machshavah­-thoughts are a higher kind of thought than dimayon-imaginative thoughts, because imaginative thoughts are jumpy and they fly around, whereas machshavah­-thoughts are a kind of thought that is more orderly in its nature.

Practically Working On This

Now that we have outlined the general idea of the solution, we will explain how to work on this practically.

All of us encounter situations in which forbidden sights are in front of us. Therefore, a person should prepare for himself something he can think about that heavily involves his thoughts, which he can use to think about when he encounters a forbidden sight.

To start out with, either you can prepare for yourself an imaginative thought that will keep your mind busy when you encounter a forbidden sight, or, you can prepare a thought that helps you have deep reflection. The second method is more preferred, because machshavah\orderly thought is preferred over dimayon\imagination. Make a list of various things to think about that will keep you interested and thinking.

Write down 2 or 3 thoughts that you will use to keep you occupied when you encounter a forbidden sight. It’s better to have a few thoughts prepared as opposed to one thought, because it’s hard to remain focused on one thought when you’re faced with a forbidden sight. So prepare for yourself a list of a few thoughts that you will use to keep yourself occupied. They should also be thoughts that are orderlyin their nature.

When you encounter a forbidden sight, close your eyes and remind yourself of those thoughts you prepared. The point of this method is that it trains you to enter into orderly thought when you are faced with visual desires, which helps you leave your physical vision and instead enter inward.

If you have a hard time getting involved with deep thought, you can prepare for yourself imaginative thoughts, such as thinking about various images of beautiful scenery, or a nice picture, etc.; it is even better if it is an image of something holy.[2] But it should be a kind of orderly imagination, and not a bunch of random imaginative thoughts that scatters the mind. It should be a certain order of imaginative thoughts.

If you are able to get involved with deeper thoughts than imagination, prepare for yourself a list of those thoughts that you will enter when you encounter an improper sight.

When you encounter the improper sight, close your eyes, and you will consciously enter the thoughts you prepared for yourself. The point of closing the eyes is not to act mechanically and just let your mind wander when you encounter a forbidden sight. It is to enter into the certain order of thoughts\imagination that you have previously prepared.

Before ‘Shemiras Einayim’

This is a piece of advice that can help anyone on any level, for anyone who wishes to sanctify his eyes and protect them from seeing forbidden sights. Of course, there is much more to sanctifying our eyes; here, we have only addressed the aspect of visual desires of the eyes. Sanctifying our sense of sight is a separate avodah, which also needs to be explained, and we did not cover it here. Here, we discussed how to rectify the desires of our eyes.

To summarize the solution to avoiding visual desires, there were three steps: Step One is to close the eyes. Step Two is to get busy with imaginative thoughts that you prepare for yourself. Step Three, which is the higher solution, is to get busy with deep thought, machshavah.

The Deeper Solution: Identify The Deepest Part of Your Self and Connect To It

Now we will present another solution, which is deeper.

As it was mentioned earlier, the point of closing the eyes is to help us enter more inward and get closer to our actual essence. Reb Yeruchem Levovitz zt”l once stated, “Woe is to a shoemaker who doesn’t know how to use his tools.” A person cannot utilize his potential if he doesn’t recognize the main tools that he was given to work with. With regards to our discussion, we need to recognize the deepest source of chiyus (vitality) we recognize from our own life. After making this clarification, become aware of it and use it.

First, we need to become aware of our deepest point in ourselves; without making this clarification, a person lives superficially, and he simply thinks that the deepest part of his being is that he is connected to Torah, to tefillah, to chessed, or to Hashem. It could be true that he is connected to spirituality - but that doesn’t mean he is connected to the deepest point he knows of from his own life.

The deepest point in the person (besides for one’s actual essence) is to be aware of the deepest current source of vitality that he recognizes in himself. After discovering what it is, he then needs to make use of it, as a way to avoid desires.

Thus, the purpose of closing the eyes is that it helps you return to your deepest point. This might not be your actual essence, but it is definitely brings you closer to your essence. The deepest part in yourself that you currently recognize can be called your “I”, to some degree, even though it is not yet the deepest point of the “I.”

Most people, understandably, are not in touch with their actual essence. In addition, most people are not even aware of the deepest part of themselves that they are currently at. If you at least become aware of your current deepest point, you are a lot closer to your essence.

When you are in touch with your aspect of individuality, you avoid getting ‘dragged’ after desires: The closer I to my individuality, the more I am aware of my unique qualities which no one else has and the more I am in touch with it – the more I am drawn away from pursuing desires.

This is not to be understood as merely “running away” from what I see into this deep place in myself. The understanding of this is not merely that you’re running away into an “ir miklat” (city of refuge) in yourself as a way to escape visual desires; that is also true, but there is a deeper understanding to this. It is to connect myself to my deepest point - where it is almost impossible that some desire can drag me away from it.

The Greatest Solution To Fix Desires

Of course, it is impossible to say that desires cannot affect you at all when you close your eyes (and thereafter when you connect to your deepest point). Being that you are not yet reaching the essence of the soul, it is still possible to get dragged after desires. But if you connect to the deepest point you know of in yourself, desires generally have must less control over you.

This solves not only visual desires - it also rectifies all desires in general.

We used closing the eyes as an example of how to get in touch with the essence, but closing the eyes is merely the tool you can use to get to this place im yourself. Therefore, one must realize that “closing the eyes” is not the goal here in this solution. It is rather because closing the eyes are the tool that helps you get closer to your essence, where desires cannot control you. The more you get in touch with the deeper parts of yourself, even if you haven’t yet reached your essence, the less and less desires can control you.

The more you get in touch with the deeper parts of yourself, the more vitality you derive from your pnimiyus (inner world), and as a result, the less you will be pulled after desires in the outside world. Even more so, because you are more connected to your inner world, the less your own physical eyes will feel a desire to look at things, because desires have less control over you when you are more connected with your deeper self, and it is easier at that point to feel how This World is not your real place.

Therefore, a person should getting used to closing the eyes; not just when encountering improper sights, but in general, in order to get used to it even before a test comes; the gain is so that you will learn how to enter inward into yourself, into the deeper parts of yourself that you know of. By getting used to closing the eyes and focusing on the deepest part of your life right now, you will discover that it not only helps you avoid visual desires, but that it helps you avoid all desires altogether.

In fact, the more you get used to closing the eyes and focusing on your deeper points, the more you will be able to focused on those deep thoughts even as you’re walking in the street with eyes totally wide open. Getting used to closing the eyes teaches you how to focus on the deeper parts to your existence; thus, once you gain that perspective, you won’t even have to close your eyes anymore when you walk in the streets! You can have your eyes totally open as you walk yet still not notice anything that goes on, because you are immersed instead in various thoughts.

These can be thoughts such as an upcoming simcha (celebration), or to think about your financial problems, or to think about shidduchim, or to think about your health, etc.By thinking about those things as you’re closing the eyes, desires won’t be able to ‘drag’ you. You won’t be able to notice anything on the streets when you’re involved with these immersive thoughts. (You might not notice anyone saying “Hello” to you either, because you are so immersed in your thoughts!)

In Summary

Using this solution is the root of rectifying all your physical desires in general, and visual desires specifically.

So the point is to get used to closing your eyes. Don’t do this mechanically; do so to enter into either the imaginative thoughts that you have prepared for yourself [the first solution] or to enter the deep thoughts you have prepared for yourself [the second solution]. The deeper solution is to enter the deepest part you know of in yourself when you close the eyes.

Examining The Differences Between These Solutions

Now we will go through the differences between the solutions, and why the deepest solution is the most effective.

When a person uses imaginative thoughts as a way to avoid visual desires, while this can certainly help to avoid the improper sight, it still contains a disadvantage. Entering into imagination won’t solve the person’s curiosity to look. Although he is keeping himself occupied with something interesting to imagine about, deep down he wishes he could just open his eyes and get a little look.

It’s more like a hesech hadaas, to temporarily “ignore the mind”, but deep down he’s still curious and he wishes he could open his eyes and look. Why? It is because imagination itself is a force that drags a person from one kind of imaginative thought to another. Therefore, imagination is not powerful enough to stop the eyes from dragging them after visual desires.

If one uses the higher solution, which is to get involved with deep machshavah\orderly thought, although these are deeper kinds of thoughts than the imagination, it’s the same problem. Our thoughts, even when they are orderly, are still a force that ‘drags’ us from one thought to another.

When we learn Gemara, even if our thoughts are very orderly and they aren’t flying around, still, our thoughts still get dragged very quickly from one point to another point. Thus, if our thoughts can get dragged, our physical eyes will also be drag them after visual desires, and we will still be very curious to open our eyes and look even as we are immersed in deep thought.

But if we use the deeper solution, which is to close our eyes and get in touch with the deeper parts of our self, there, our eyes cannot drag us away, because the closer we are to our essence, the less power desires have over us to ‘drag’ us.

As mentioned before, this solution will give you great self-control over all other desires as well, not just visual desires. It is therefore the most complete kind of advice you can use to avoid desires.

‘Shemiras Einayaim’ In The 21^st Century

Of course, there is no advice that is guaranteed to save you from visual desires, because we are currently living amidst the “50^th Gate of Impurity”, in which improper sights surround us from every angle.

It used to be that when you were faced with an improper sight, you could turn your back to it face the opposite direction, where you could leave the temptation behind you. That was in previous times, when were in the “49^th Gate of Impurity”. But in today’s times, when we are in the “50^th Gate of Impurity”,[3] there is nowhere to turn to, because wherever you turn, another evil desire is there to face you.

The only solution is to enter inward into our own souls and connect to our essence, where desires won’t be able to drag us away.

There are other ways how we can develop our soul’s sense of sight, in which we can form a spiritual kind of vision to protect ourselves from improper sights. There are both advantages and disadvantages to opening up the soul’s spiritual vision; therefore, it is dangerous to learn about those methods.

Here in these last two chapters, we have laid down the two root solutions that rectify visual desires – the power of developing visual focus, as well as the power of closing the eyes (the basic part of the solution, as well as the deeper part of the solution).