Tefillah - 055 Searching for Truth

Four Titles of Man

After we sayאתה חונן לאדם דעתwe say, ומלמד לאנוש בינה, “And Who teaches intuition to man.” In the beginning of the blessing, we refer to man asאדם and now we say אנוש, which is another term for “man.” Man is called by four names – איש, אדם, גבר and אנוש (ish, adam, gever, and enosh).

The highest use of man is when he is called איש (ish,) such as when Chavah was created from Adam, where the Torah calls Adam with the title of איש.  A lower name of man is when he is called גבר (gever) in reference to how man’s understanding is different than a rooster’s understanding.  אדם (adam) is also a term used to differentiate between man and animal. The word אנוש, though, refers to man at his lowest level. When a man falls from his higher title of אדם he becomes אנוש.

ומלמד לאנוש בינה- In this blessing, we mention how Hashem teaches man on a level of אנוש, which implies that man can receive understanding in Torah from Hashem even when he is at his lowliest level.

Learning Torah Can Uplift A Person From Lowliness

In these words of Shemoneh Esrei, we are saying that Hashem teaches understanding to a man even when is at his lowest level. Chazal teach,המאור שבה מחזירן למוטב, that as long as a person learns Torah, the light of Torah returns him to the good (it causes him to better his ways and to repent) even if he neglected to keep the mitzvos. Thus, even if a person is found at a low level and he is doing aveiros, the power of learning Torah, the “light” that is found in the Torah, can return a person to Hashem.

Expanding upon this concept, the Ramchal writes in sefer Derech Hashem [Part IV, Chapter 2] that learning Torah consists of two general levels – the lower level is to speak words of Torah, and the higher level is to have constant thought in Torah. The Ramchal then adds on that there is a great secret, that no matter what level of Torah one is learning at - even if he learns it on a purely intellectual level, and he is unaware that Torah is really a G-dly wisdom - still, as long as he learns Torah, his Torah learning will eventually do something good for him and return him to good. This is because Torah is different than all other wisdoms of the world. Even if a person relates to Torah as another wisdom, the power of the Torah will still help him when he learns it. The Ramchal says that as long as he’s not learning Torah in order to fight with others or in order to render an improper ruling in halachah, learning the Torah will eventually bring him to the truth, even though he’s relating to the Torah as just another wisdom.

Those are the words of the Ramchal, based on the words of the Sages, that the light of Torah returns a person to the good.

However, we need to understand something about this. When we take a look at the world today, for some reason, we do not see this happening. When people are far from the mitzvos and they begin to learn Torah, their Torah learning doesn’t always make them better and they don’t always do teshuvah. And even amongst those who keep the Torah, even amongst those are learning Torah all day in a beis midrash, if they aren’t careful with the mitzvos and with keeping halachah, their Torah learning does not always improve them. How can this be? Why doesn’t their Torah learning return them to the light? What happened to the power of learning Torah? There are several reasons for why this can happen, and depending on what the particular reason, there will be a very big difference for each person’s life.

Learning Torah With A Desire For Truth

First of all, we need to understand: What is the power of Torah that ‘returns people to good’?

The Torah is called a bris, a covenant, between Hashem and His creation. Torah is the bridge, the middle point in between Hashem and His Creation. As creations, we are limited, while Hashem is unlimited. The Torah is the bridging point that connects us (the limited) with the Unlimited (Hashem). The Torah is the unlimited wisdom of Hashem and it contains the light of Hashem’s Infinite Light (the ohr EinSof), the Torah is all-inclusive, longer than the land and wider than the sea. But at the same time, the Torah also has an aspect of being limited. The Torah contains exactly 600,000 letters, which implies that there is some aspect of it that it is numbered and limited.

In other words, the Torah can be learned on two levels – either a person views it as a limited body of knowledge which he can get to know, or he views it as a tool that connects him with the unlimited, with Hashem.

If a person learns Torah with proper intentions, meaning that he is searching for the truth, then his Torah learning will bear good results (as long as he’s not learning it solely so he can fight with others and prove others wrong, or for other devious reasons), and eventually he will get to the Infinite Light of Hashem through learning the Torah. He understands that the Torah is unlimited and that is his connection to the Infinite, and he wants to become connected with the Infinite, through learning the Torah. It is this kind of person whom the Torah will always return to a proper path. The light is the Torah, and the Source of this light is Hashem, and as long as one connects to the light of the Torah, to its infinite light, by understanding that it is an endless wisdom and because he searches for truth, one will become connected to Hashem through it.

But when many people learn Torah, they get discouraged, because they feel like their Torah learning is not doing anything for them, it’s not causing them to feel more spiritual or to better their ways. They see that they can’t finish the Torah because it is endless. And they see that they can barely finish even understanding one Mishnah or Gemara properly. They get frustrated with their learning.

However, if a person is discovering constant chiddushim in his learning, he keeps entering further into the Infinite Light of Hashem that is found in the Torah, because he keeps seeing that the Torah is endless. This will eventually lead him to connecting with the Infinite.

Therefore, even if you don’t see how the Torah is doing something for you, know that it is, even though you can’t feel it. As long as you keep persevering in it, with a desire for the truth, you will get to Hashem though it, because you are connecting yourself more and more to the Torah. Whoever really learns Torah, with a search for truth, will eventually get to the light of Hashem through it – though it may take time. The only issue is how much of a deep connection we form with the Torah, and how long it will take us, and how much we will have to go through in order to get there. But once we do gain a deep connection to Torah, the Torah will then lead us to every level. Some people can openly and plainly see how the Torah is changing them, while others don’t see in front of their eyes how the Torah is changing them, but they need to be patient and see how eventually, they will be able to see, how the Torah is changing them for the better.

If a person never gets to a greater recognition of Hashem through his learning, as long as he was searching for truth in his efforts to know the Torah, he may come back again in another lifetime so that he can reach it. He may come back down as a person who is learning-disabled, who can’t understand his learning no matter how much he tries to, or he will suffer greatly when trying to understand his learning. But eventually, anyone who puts effort into learning the Torah, with a search for truth, will be returned to the good - to a recognition of Hashem through the Torah. The only question is how much each of us will have to go through until we get there.

Eirev Rav Souls Don’t Get Improved Through Learning Torah

(As an aside, we can also see many who learned a lot of Torah but they never become improved through it. Why didn’t their Torah learning return them to good? It is because they are souls from the Eirev Rav, who didn’t want the Torah when they stood at Har Sinai. These souls are not part of the Jewish people. There are many such souls of Eirev Rav in this generation. But anyone who did stand at Har Sinai to accept the Torah will reach closeness to Hashem through the Torah, as long as he perseveres in his learning with a search for the truth.)

Searching For Truth

How one can use his Torah learning to return himself to good?

ומלמד לאנוש בינה – Hashem grants understanding in Torah to man even when he is at his lowliest level, which is called enosh, אנוש. Each person differs in how low he has sunk, but there is always some degree of אנוש that a person is at. There is one fundamental point which can open us to all success: the power to search for the truth.

There is emes, truth, and there is emes l’amitoh – the absolute truth. In other words, there are levels to truth. A person might search for success in Torah in his life, but his search is not always truthful.

It doesn’t matter what level you are at. In any spiritual attainment that you want to acquire, seek to acquire it on its true level. If you want Torah, search for a truthful kind of Torah. If you want to work on emunah, search for what it means to have emunah, for the point of truth that is found in emunah. If you want to become a baal chessed, search for a truthful way of doing chessed. In anything good you are trying to reach, you must be searching for the point of truth in it.

Searching For Truth In Torah: Motivations In ‘Chiddushei Torah’

To give an example of what it means to search for truth in learning Torah, when people learn, they want to have Chiddushei Torah (Torah insights). But there are different motivations in why people want Chiddushim. Some people search to have “Chiddushim”, and they will indeed arrive at discovering Chiddushim, but only because they wanted to the have the satisfying feeling of “having Chiddushim.” These Chiddushim are not coming from a search for the truth, so the Chiddushim won’t necessarily be truthful either. Others are more interested in searching for the truth, and as a result of searching for truth, they discover chiddushim as they learn. The second kind of person will have chiddushim that are coming from a place of truth, and his chiddushim will be more genuine than the first kind of person.

Of course, a person will get rewarded no matter what his intentions are. Even a goy who does something good will get rewarded, Hashem doesn’t hold back reward from anyone. But a person won’t arrive at any substantial level or desired purpose when he isn’t seeking truth. It can be very hard for people to accept this concept, that we must always seek more and more truth in our ruchniyus. It doesn’t just mean to search for more ruchniyus, but to search for a more truthful and more genuine kind of ruchniyus.

A person may know a lot of Torah, in all its areas, or you can have a person who is even heavily involved in avodas Hashem - but he doesn’t necessarily seek truth. It could be that he even searches for Hashem in his life, he is searching for the revelation of Elokus/G-dliness, but he may be in it purely for the sake of the enjoyment that he gets out of this, and not because he searches for the truth that is found in this.

Searching For Truth: Being Prepared To Change Your Lifestyle

In order to really search for truth, it has to burn in our hearts – we must have a burning desire to get to the truth. What does this mean? It is a very deep concept, but to be brief, it means that you must be prepared to give up whatever lifestyle you were living until now, in just one moment, so that you can gain a more truthful one.

Examples of Living Truthfully

To give some examples, a person can try asking himself the following. (How many people would be prepared to accept the following changes to their lifestyle?)

1) If you are told a certain interpretation in Torah that is more truthful than your current understanding, would you admit to it and say that the other way of understanding is truer than yours? Or would you feel bad that you have to give up your previous way of understanding what you learned?

2) If you were told that there is a certain beis midrash in which they learn Torah in a more truthful way, would you leave your current beis midrash and go there?

3) If you discover that there is a group of Jews in the world who live more truthfully than you do, would you give up your current lifestyle and change over to that way of life? Would you be prepared to leave your way of life in Yiddishkeit if you would find out that it’s not as truthful as a different way of Yiddishkeit? If you agree that they are closer to the truth than you are, would you be prepared to actually uproot yourself from your community and move to the community where there is a more truthful lifestyle? Or would you say, “I don’t know. If I move, it won’t work out for my wife and children…” In other words, “I don’t really want to!” (On a deeper note, both the husband and wife both don’t want!) If someone lives a truthful life, a really truthful life, that means he is not dependent on anything on this world. He is prepared to leave anything for the truth. He is prepared to let go of this generation, to let go of this world, to let go of this time that we are in, and to exchange it for a more truthful level of existence.

4) If a person is offered the chance to leave behind his current life and instead enter into a different time, in which there will be a Beis HaMikdash and Moshiach, would he do it? Or would he wish he could stay in his current time? If he leads a yeshivah for 1000 bochurim and then Mashiach comes, is he ready to give up his position…?

A person who really searches for truth is prepared to give up everything in one moment, as long as he knows that that he can reach a greater truth. This is the first question a person should ask himself: “Am I prepared to give up my current lifestyle for the truth?”

We all know that when Moshiach comes, the world will change. The Torah will never change, but all falsity with vanish and it will be a world of truth. The truth today exists, but it is very hidden, and it is falsity which dominates the world today. Moshiach will reveal how this world is a world of falsity, and in one second, most people will have to change most or their entire lifestyle as we know it!

Changing

In order to reach truth, we must be prepared to dedicate our lives to it, to always search for truth in whatever it is that we do. If we seek any spiritual goal, the concern should not be about what we want to acquire, but rather to attain it on a true level, to search for the truth in it.

If someone searches for truth, that means that even if he would be born irreligious, he would return to Torah. Most of the irreligious Jews being born today are considered “captured children” (tinok shenishba), so it is not their fault. Why is it, though, that most of them aren’t returning to Judaism, if it is not their fault for being born irreligious? It is because most people are not searching for truth. Only when you search for the truth, with perseverance, do you return to the truth. The light of the Torah returns a person to the good, but only when he really searches for the truth. When a person searches for truth, no matter what his background is, it doesn’t make a difference to him, because he is searching for the truth, and it is then that the Torah always returns him to good.

In whatever we do, we must search for truth! This is how a person can merit ומלמד לאנוש בינה. He will then experience the words of the Ramchal in sefer Derech Hashem, that learning Torah returns a person to good (it will return him to Hashem), no matter on what level he learns it on. How far will it take for him to get there? That is the question. But if a person always make sure to search for the truth, the way will be much easier.

If a person has a hard time with changing over to the truth, he will have to reach very deep inside himself until he reveals the search for more and more truth. He will have to keep purifying himself throughout life, to search for a deeper level of truth that what he grew up with. He must keep trying to get to the truth in something. Search for the truth in Torah, in tefillah, in chessed. Don’t just search for moreTorah and more tefillah and more chessed – search for a truthful kind of Torah, tefillah, and chessed. Otherwise, it is “Those who grasp Torah do not know Me.” From Torah learning we should be searching for Hashem.

In Conclusion

The wordsומלמד לאנוש בינה show us that no matter how lowly of a situation you are in, as long as you keep searching for the truth – on a constant basis – you will reach spiritual success.

With a truthful lens, we can see that there is a lot of ruchniyus (spirituality) taking place today, much more than in the previous generations – there is a lot of Torah, a lot of mitzvos, and a lot of chessed. Yet, rarely today do we find that a person’s Torah, mitzvos, and chessed are making him better and bringing him closer to Hashem It is very hard today to find truthful Torah and truthful chessed. Without searching for the truth in anything good that we want to get to, a person will never get to the desired purpose. If we make sure to always persevere with searching for the truth in whatever we do, it will become much easier to arrive at the goal, the purpose – to become close to Hashem.[1]