Bilvavi Part 5 - 096 Talking with Hashem about Emunah

בלבבי. חלק ה. עולם ברור עמ' צו – ק

1.

The Mesillas Yesharim writes that the true good on this world is closeness to Hashem, and that whatever anyone else thinks is “good” is nonsense.

How can a person bring himself to feel that being close to Hashem is indeed the true good one can have in life, and that whatever anyone else thinks is the true good is truly worthless?

2.

This chapter is only for someone who is stable in his internal world and doesn’t delude himself. If someone tends to imagine things, then even his Avodas Hashem will be like one big fantasy to him. A person who is prone to imagination will have delusions in his Avodas Hashem, imagining for many years that he is close to Hashem, when in reality it’s all just in his imagination.

In order to practice any of the matters we have written about here, a person has to work very patiently and calmly, with a clear knowledge of the goal and a strong desire to reach it. One’s Avodas Hashem needs a carefully built plan, and it needs to be done slowly. We have already mentioned in the preface the words of the Yesod V’Shoresh H’Avodah, which should be reviewed again; they are very applicable to the subject of this chapter.

3.

First, a person needs to think about this intellectually: that the only good on this world is to be close to Hashem, and nothing else is truly good.

Then, realize that this is only information in your mind, and it is now upon you to take this knowledge and imprint it onto your heart – that you should sense this fact.

We do not mean to become amazed in an emotional way, but rather, to sense this just as much as you walk by dirt and sense that it’s worthless, so can you sense how nothing on this world is worth anything.

This is a subtle point. Many people, who begin Avodas Hashem, think that you have to become emotionally amazed. The truth is that you can use emotions to help yourself begin to enter the world of spirituality, but you can’t base your spiritual development upon emotional excitement. It won’t build you. Emotions cannot serve as a basis for anything – only something which you can actually sense can serve as a basis.

This is a very deep and subtle point, and it needs to be absorbed; many people have become mistaken by not grasping this point. There are unfortunately some people who go their whole lives serving Hashem only out of emotional excitement, without ever really building themselves inside.

Our internal world is built upon a kol demamah dakkah – a “soft, subtle sound” – not on a loud noise. A soft, subtle sound means that we sense a matter, while a loud noise refers to something loud and exciting, which is nothing but air. When people don’t realize this, all of their Avodas Hashem is built on air – which doesn’t amount to anything.

Please absorb this point, and think deeply about it for a while. Don’t just read this quickly and say, “I understand; this problem doesn’t apply to me.” Seek the truth – “Hashem is close to all those who call out to Him in truth.”

4.

A person has to come to actually sense how this physical world is worthless to pursue.

How can we bring ourselves to feel this way?

Set aside time and look at different items you see. Think about the gains you get from each item, as well as the disadvantages each item causes. Think about every last detail of an item. After you see all the advantages and disadvantages of an item, now see how this relates with regards to becoming closer to Hashem: Does this item bring me closer to Hashem?

Conclude that it doesn’t, and therefore, it cannot be considered a “good” thing – because it doesn’t bring you closer to Hashem, and it only serves to distance you from Him.

Let these words come from your heart. You can go over it even hundreds of times, calmly and slowly (sometimes it is better to write it down, and it depends on what each person is more comfortable with), and say these words from your heart. “Matters which come from the heart enter the heart.”

5.

Generally speaking, one has to work from the foundation, as opposed to starting from this detail and that detail. The details of our Avodas Hashem also have to be worked on, but the point we are talking about here is where to start from, because it is the foundation: the only true good is closeness to Hashem.

In other words, one should get used to saying: “Ribono shel olam, the true good is to be close to You, and nothing else is called “good.”

Each person can talk to Hashem in the manner he’s comfortable with, but the point is to repeat that the only thing which is good is to be close to Hashem. Go over as well the opposite point, that nothing else is good - besides for Hashem.

Of course, there are more details to our Avodas Hashem then just this, but this is the foundation. We need both the foundation as well as all the other details in our Avodas Hashem.

6.

A person should get used to talking to Hashem like this for years: “Ribono shel olam, the only good that exists is to be close to You, to be with You, to live with You. The only thing we have on this world is You.”

We do not mean to say here that this indeed is the level you are actually on as you say these words. Even if you know about this in your head, and even if your heart feels how it’s true, that still doesn’t mean you’ve really reached this level, because the heart can still have additional interests other than this, closeness to Hashem. The point of speaking all this out verbally is so that we can come to reveal the hidden good in our heart (rooted in our soul).

This is the truth which our soul knows and wants, and it’s possible that we have already begun to reveal it in our heart. But our heart still has other various desires that it wants. By speaking out verbally that the only true good on this world is to be close to Hashem, we are able to remove those various desires in our heart and come to reveal our true, inner desire – the desire of our soul: to become close to Hashem.

7.

One’s avodah is to always verbalize his generally obligation on this world – the will to become close to Hashem; and that nothing else besides this is considered good. When a person ever feels that he still wants other things than this, he should talk about it with Hashem in the manner we have said. If there is something he wants very badly – and it’s not something which brings him closer to Hashem – he needs to repeat to himself all the pros and cons of the item and then see how it doesn’t bring him closer to Hashem.

8.

After a person realizes this consciously, now he needs to work to know about this even in his sub-conscious state. This is a lifelong task: that even subconsciously, a person has to keep nullifying his desires for evil, and only desire good.[1]

9.

In addition to all this, a person needs to daven to Hashem that he should come to realize how everything he can think of on this world is something that can bring him closer to Hashem – or not. After a person indeed realizes that nothing on this world can bring him closer to Hashem, he needs to daven that he should feel this in his heart as well, besides for knowing about it intellectually.

10.

When talking to Hashem about this, two points need to be expressed: Firstly, that we are asking Hashem that we merit to realize that only closeness to Him is true good, and secondly, that anything else which we think is good isn’t really good, and that we want to feel this.

Keep davening about this, all the time.

11.

This chapter is very important for anyone who wants to truly serve Hashem and searches for a pure connection with Him. The inner point which we are describing here must be absorbed – and practiced.

It is a very subtle point in our Avodas Hashem. If we absorb it, we will gain tremendously – but if we don’t, we will just be imagining that we are succeeding.

It’s possible that a person is always talking to Hashem, yet he’s far from the Creator, far from a simple feeling of closeness with Him. We can see with our own eyes that many people thought they were truly serving Hashem with their hearts, yet they never even reached the simplest layer of their heart. A person needs a special merit to reach even the simple layer of his heart.