Bilvavi Part 7 - 004 Ain Od Milvado

Accessing The State of Before Creation

One’s Avodas Hashem is complete only when he attaches himself to the state that existed before the creation of the universe.

Olam, which means universe, has the same letters as the word he’elam, which means confusion. Before the world, there was no “confusion” - just perfect Emunah.

This is actually what “Ain Od Milvado” means – there is nothing besides Hashem, simply put.

Ain Od Milvado: No Sense of Self

Ain Od Milvado essentially is for one to nullify his “I” – it is to erase your ego entirely. Your “I” is not limited to any place, as we know. Your “I” is something that can be sensed. When a person erases his senses – that itself is how he nullifies his “I.”

When a person gets rid of his “I”, he then comprehends how there is simply nothing besides for Hashem. Any doubt about the concept of Ain Od Milvado is only possible when a person is still confined to his “I”; it is always a person’s “I” that holds back one’s perception of Ain Od Milvado.

We find many times that Chazal have to explain to us many concepts about Emunah, but it’s not because there are really questions; there are only “questions” from our point of view, who are only at the receiving end of the information. This is explained by both the Ramchal and the Maharal.

When a person nullifies his senses, he nullifies his “I”, and he is then able to understand Ain Od Milvado. He goes from ani, “I”, to ayin, “nothing”.

How To Nullify Your “I”

How do you nullify your senses, the sense of your “I”?

The way is through Emunah. This is when you realize that your senses are not the end; it is only part of the big picture. There is more to life than what you sense – a whole new kind of inner depth to life. When a person connects himself to Emunah and he is aware that there are things which are above his comprehension, he leaves the view from his senses and instead is attached to the Ein Sof of Hashem.

The Room Reserved In Heaven For Those Who Have Reached “Ain Od Milvado”

Know that there is a chamber (heichal) in Heaven called Ain Od Milvado. In this room, there are souls who have merited to leave all their “garments” on this world, and their entire desire is to be integrated with Hashem. They think and live only “Ain Od Milvado”, and this is their whole desire.

On a more subtle note, these souls have arrived at the belief that there is only One whose existence is true – that not only is there no one else besides Him, but the focus is on Him, that He alone exists.

There is a well-known statement of the Baal Shem Tov, that “the purpose of knowledge is to realize that you don’t know anything.” First, we need to need realize that there is only Hashem, and then we can realize that there is nothing else besides Him. We keep passing through these concepts in a cycle, until we finally reach the ultimate level, which is to integrate totally with Hashem. There are times, however, where we sometimes experience Ain Od Milvado, and the more we experience it, the more permission we gain in being able to enter the high chamber of Heaven that is entirely about “Ain Od Milvado.”

This chamber is the highest of all the Heavenly chambers. The other chambers in Heaven are devoted to the “garments” of Hashem, but this chamber is all about Hashem Himself. It is essentially a longing to become integrated with Hashem, and it intensifies with the more a person realizes “Ain Od Milvado.”

You Can’t Get There By “Thinking” About This

However, chas v’shalom should one attempt to actually try to enter this chamber by trying to think about it and concentrate on it; the sefer Nefesh HaChaim has already warned about this. It is d’veykus (attachment to Hashem), and d’veykus is a soul experience; it is not something we can “do” with even our mental powers.[1]

This chamber is actually the inner chamber of Moshiach. The outer layer of it is essentially the Torah that Moshiach will reveal, while the inner layer of it is Ain Od Milvado. (Torah is the “garment” that cloaks Ain Od Milvado, because Ain Od Milvado is at the core of Torah. It is the inner essence of the Torah!)

The inner layer of this chamber is only about Ain Od Milvado, and it is nothing that can be comprehended intellectually. It is the revelation of the ultimate reality as it is – the simple truth of Ain Od Milvado.