Fixing Your Earth [Laziness] - 006 Childish Immaturity & The Solution

דע את מידותיך הדרכה מעשית – עפר-עצלות מפורט 006 – מים דמים דעפר

Water-of-Water-of-Earth: Totally Dragged

Laziness that stems from water-of-water-of-earth is when a person becomes totally dragged after something, due to his dominant nature of earth.

Earth is serene, whereas wind moves. When one’s earth overpowers his wind, he moves less. However, every person has a nature to be a mover, by our very human design. So every person will always have some level of movement.  Otherwise, he is kind of dead. But no one is like this. Even a person who doesn’t like to move will have some movement in his life, and he will always feel the need to move. He will move towards wherever he feels dragged or pulled towards.

If one has a dominant nature of water-of-earth-of-earth, though, a person will only move towards what he’s dragged after. He will not move towards anything else, and only to what he feels a pull towards. Although it appears to be the power of movement, which is a force of the element of wind, it is not really movement, but the force of dragging, a force rooted in the element of water.

A Childish Nature

We find two kinds of movement. A baby doesn’t move around that much, and stays in his place. The baby is weighed down by his element of earth. When he gets a bit older, he begins to moves around more, and when he is no longer an infant but young child, he is jumpy and playful. A child likes to move in order to move. They don’t move necessarily to get somewhere. Rather, children like to play and move around, simply for the sake of moving.  Another, different kind of movement of a child is when a child moves only towards something he feels a pull towards. Either of these movements have no specific direction. The movements aren’t being guided with any sense.

When a person gets older and he becomes an adult, he may still be like a child in this aspect. A classic example of this is when people (whether a child or adult) ride a merry-go-round, which moves around in a circle, where all of the riders keep returning to the same place, again and again. This is a movement for the sake of movement itself, with no specific destination to get to.

A different kind of movement is when a person guides his movement towards a certain thing, because he wants to get to a certain place and he sets out to get it, planning out how we will get there. An adult, who has reached maturity, is capable of planning where he will need to go. If a person wants to go visit graves of tzaddikim in Northern Israel, he gets hold of a map and figures out which routes to take, and he plans out his journey.

A child is unable to do this. He cannot figure how to get where he wants to get to. A child’s movements lack direction. He has no specific path to take. He doesn’t guide or direct his movements. He only moves because he is pulled and dragged after things. A mature adult is able to develop a path to go in, and that is precisely what makes him mature; whereas a child has no guided movement, and therefore he will either move for the sake of simply moving, with no destination to get to, or because he is simply dragged and pulled after something that interests him.

When people get older and they mature, they usually develop some kind of path they want to go in. They develop a sense of tahalich\journeying, knowing that there is a certain path they must take, and they set out on their path. A child in elementary school already understands that there are stages to take in life, because he sees that there is first grade, then second grade, then third grade, etc. and eventually high school. Adults see that in order to earn a livelihood, they need to learn a profession. This power to direct one’s movements is called tahalich\journeying, and it is a power that comes from the repaired element of wind, where one’s movements are guided and directed.

When a person develops this power, he can form a path for himself which is lasting and productive, which will lead him towards success in various areas of life. He sets out to attain his aspirations, and he takes a certain path to get there. But if he remains like a child, he will have fewer aspirations, just like a child, who doesn’t aspire for much and who doesn’t seek a path to get to what he wants.

This childish nature, when it remains in an adult’s life, comes from impaired water-of-water-of-earth. Therefore, impaired water-of-water-of-earth is not just another human weakness. By its very essence, it is a childish nature. It is a nature in a person to remain childish, with the perspective of a child, where a person has no tahalich, no ability to direct his power of movement.

Here are some examples of this nature, when it continues to remain in the life of an adult.

Example 1 – Never Thinking About The Future

An adult chooses a certain job, and he never thinks about when he will receive his pension, if he will get it at the age of 62, 63, or 67. In some cases, a person like this has a high level of bitachon (faith in Hashem). But another kind of person would say, “Why should I think about what will be in 20 years from now?” He has a belief that there is no point in ever thinking about his future. Perhaps if he sees his parents facing a dilemma with their pension, he will start worrying. Otherwise, if there is nothing that compelling to make him think about his future, he doesn’t think about it. This is a person with the nature of impaired water-of-water-of-earth.

Example 2 – Impulsive Shopping

Another example is when a person keeps buying things in the store, without keeping to a budget. We aren’t talking about a person who has no money in his account, who keeps buying on credit. We are talking about a more responsible kind of person, who will only buy things if he has money in his account. But he never thinks about how much money he will have in his account in a few days from now, and he keeps loading on the items into his shopping cart, buying whatever he wants and whenever he wants, without ever thinking of the future. The next day, he is back in the store, buying more things that he “suddenly” realized he needed - but the truth is that there is no such thing you “suddenly” need.

Lack of Taking Action

Anyone can think of more examples of this problem, but the point is that there are adults who live as if they mature adults, but they never do any planning. They have no concept of holding onto any aspiration for that long, so they never try to actualize anything they aspire for.

Some people may have all kinds of aspirations deep in their soul, but their problem is that they never do anything to actualize their deep wishes. They are busy and bombarded from various responsibilities in life, so they never have time to think and plan. This kind of person has aspirations, and it is just that he is deficient in the area of action. He wants certain things, but he isn’t doing anything to get them. He may be able to give advice and he can explain very well about the necessity of certain things, but this doesn’t translate into action. He has a problem when it comes to taking action, even though he logically understands the need to take care of those actions.

Others don’t take action, however, simply because they don’t see the need to. This is the nature of impaired water-of-water-of-earth.

Example 1 – Ambitious On Owning A House

Here is a fundamental example of it which is also common. There are those who want to own a house, so they live a very financially tight lifestyle in order to make it work. They borrow money and get into all sorts of obligations to others in order to get the house. They just want to own the house already and have a fixed place to live in, where they are the owners and in charge of their home. They are so dragged after owning the house that they don’t think about what this will entail for them.

Example 2 – Never Moving Out

Others prefer to rent. They find an apartment for rent and stay in it for a year, until they move out a year later, and they never think about where they will live the following year. As long as they find a place to live for now, they feel fine, and they don’t want to think about the future. But it becomes a way of life for them, where they have no aspirations for anything, and they take everything as it comes.

Sometimes, it is necessary to do this. But when people live this way in general, they have no guidance in living. They are dragged after whatever the situation is like, and they don’t bother themselves to seek an alternative route. They rent out an apartment and if the landlord doesn’t say anything to them, they stay, and if he tells them to move out, only then do they start looking for a new apartment.

There are people who will never move out of their apartments. If there is no compelling reason to drag them out of there, they stay there, even if it would make sense for them to move, and even if they can find cheaper rent. Unless they get dragged away from their apartment in into chains, they stay there.

The Adult With A Child’s Perspective

All of these scenarios are examples of impaired water-of-water-of-earth. When an adult remains with this nature that dominates a child, the adult will remain very much like a child, approaching life with a child’s perspective. He doesn’t take any tahalich\path, because he doesn’t plan anything. Although it appears that he is moving, he doesn’t choose these movements, and he is just being dragged.

In summary, impaired water-of-water-of-earth causes a person to have a perspective of laziness, where he is not trying to guide or direct his movements, and as a result of this, he is totally dragged and pulled after things,  

1. Creating Movement Through Planning A Weekly Schedule

Now let us see how to repair this nature, with siyata d’shmaya.

As mentioned, a person with a nature of impaired water-of-water-of-earth is not really moving, he is just being dragged. His movements aren’t coming from true movement, which is the element of wind, but from being dragged, which is the element of water.

Therefore, the way for him to repair his nature is to develop a true power of movement, which comes from the element of wind. He had been moving until now only because he was being dragged and pulled after things. Instead, he needs to develop the power of “tahalich” - following a specific path, in order to get somewhere - so that he learns the idea of directing his movements.

Every person has a certain schedule. Usually, a person has the same fixed schedule every day, and he does certain activities at certain times of the day, on a set basis. Others, though, have a more random schedule. A repairman, for example, is working at different times every day, depending on when he gets a phone call to come do repairs. He has a different schedule each day.

In any of the above two scenarios, though, a person must think of some kind of plan, of what his schedule will be like. For example, in the beginning of the week, he should try to sit down and think which tasks he will be taking care of this week. A person should fix in his schedule what he will do on each day of the week and when, and he should also leave room for any new things that will come up. He should look over his plan for the week and he gets the idea of following this certain path.

Some people will find this difficult, because they are used to a random schedule, and they clearly don’t like to plan out a schedule for themselves. Although this will be hard for them to get used to, they should understand that this is the ideal way to go about their work.

In addition, each evening, he should think about what he will do the next day. In this way, he gets used to planning things in his mind. Instead of living with randomness, he is following a plan.

Without having any sort of planned schedule, a worker or repairman is contacted by people to do work for them, and he says, “Call me tomorrow, and I’ll see then.” What will be different tomorrow? Lots of things can change. Maybe he doesn’t know if he will be available the next day or if he will be held up by the previous day’s work, maybe his mood will be different tomorrow, maybe he will get up later, maybe he will eat breakfast later. Usually, repairmen are running from one job to another job, with no planned schedule, and they don’t think about tomorrow. In the end, you can call them the next day in the morning, when you were told to call – but they don’t answer their phone….

Although a person will find it difficult to plan out his weekly schedule, he should get used to it, so that he trains his soul to get used to the idea having a tahalich\path which he will try to follow.

2. Awakening The Will

After one gets used to the above, the next step is to awaken the inner will. The stronger the will, the more a person moves. Until now we addressed an external soul, now we are explaining a more inner part – to get to one’s motivation.

One needs to get to the depth of the will, and then his movements will run after his own will. This will turn his movements into an expression of his will. In this way, his movements won’t be dragged, but true movements, which come from his will.

Practically speaking, even if a person cannot plan out his how he wants his life to look like from beginning until end, at least in the beginning of the week he can plan out one day of the week in which he will live with a tahalich\path. He should set aside some time of the day where he will think of where he wants to get to, as well as how to get to it. Take a day of the week, or half a day, or some hours of the day, and think of where you want to get to, as well as how you will practically get there. And then one should set out to try to do it.

In this way of living, a person opens the power of tahalich, as well as the power of movement, and the power of will and actualizing his will, even if it is only on a partial level.

There are many people who want so many things and they never succeed in getting what they want. An example of this is a person who feels like his spouse is evil, and he never gets what he wants from his spouse. This is a negative perspective towards life which dampens and darkens everything. But a person should at least find some time of the day when they actualize their will, planning how to get it and then trying to get it.

The result of this will be that a person will actualize more and more of what he wants. The more a person persists with this, his soul is well built, through developing the powers of tahalich, ratzon, and actualized potential (hotzaah m’koach el poel), and this will lessen his “dragged movements”. To say it in different terms, he will mature from his childish perspective into an adult’s perspective.

Giving Proper Outlet To The Childish Nature

In this way, he turns his childhood past into a stage of life which he had to go through. When one matures, he may look at his past as a waste of time. Now that he is mature, he sees that in the past he was immature, so he naturally disdains his childhood past. But that is not the true perspective to have. Instead, his perspective should be that he has now grown into an adult, he has gained control over his childish nature which he used to have, but the childish nature is still there, in a potential state. It still exists in him, and it is just that he doesn’t let it dominate him anymore.

Compare this to a deceased person, who is not here in the world anymore, but he definitely exists. So too, the adult who has matured still retains his childish nature in a deep place in himself, so his childish nature still exists, in a dormant state.  

Since his childish nature of the past (his impaired water-of-water-of-earth) still exists, what will happen if he doesn’t give it proper direction, and instead he stifles it? It will explode outwards every so often. Sometimes you can see adults playing with children, and it is because even though they have matured, they still feel like acting like a little child sometimes. Although he feels like he wants to act out his childhood again, he should not act this way in public, which will make him appear immature in the eyes of others.

What then should he do about his childish nature, when he feels it? He needs to give it proper direction, by giving it some outlet. He should let his childish nature come out sometimes, and he should do so very sensibly. Any person can find certain activities which give outlet to his childish nature, but he should be careful not to do anything in front of other people that will make him look immature.

In short, a person’s childish nature, or his water-of-water-of-earth, will always be dormant within his personality, and therefore he must give it proper outlet at times, so that it doesn’t get stifled and then explode outward from him at a later point.

In this way, he achieves the complete repair of the nature of water-of-water-of-earth.