48 Ways - 030 Beloved

How Does One Become Beloved, And Why Is Being Beloved One of the 48 Ways To Acquire The Torah?

We are soon approaching the day when the Torah was given to Yisrael. The Mishnah in Avos says that one of the 48 ways to acquire the Torah is by being “beloved” (ahuv). Later, the Mishnah counts the qualities of loving the Creator, loving others, and loving righteousness. But before these qualities, the Mishnah first lists the quality of being “beloved” – when one is loved by others.

How does a person become beloved to others? And why is this one of the ways to acquire the Torah? True, the Gemara says that if a person learns Torah and he sanctifies Hashem’s name in front of others, he makes Hashem beloved to others, for others see him and they say, “How beautiful are His deeds.” But why is it that this quality of being “beloved” specifically one of the ways in which the Torah is required?

Elsewhere, there is a Mishnah in Avos which teaches that “Anyone who learns Torah lishmah (for its own sake) and raises it and exalts it, he merits many things.” As is known, the Nefesh HaChaim (in Gate IV) explains at length what the meaning of Torah lishmah is, and cites the words of the Rosh in Tractate Nedarim, where the Gemara says that “One should speak of it (the Torah) lishmah – do not do anything for the sake of becoming exalted, and in the end, the honor will come”, and the Rosh explains that “to speak the words of Torah, lishmah, is to speak the words of  Torah for the sake of the words of Torah themselves.”

To explain the depth of these words of the Rosh, we must know: What is the concept of lishmah, and what is the concept of shelo lishmah?

The Gemara says that one must learn Torah and mitzvos even without lishmah, because from shelo lishmah, comes lishmah.”[1] From this teaching of the Sages, we learn what the proper approach towards the spiritual should be: we should engage in it even shelo lishmah (for ulterior motivations), which will eventually lead towards doing them lishmah. So the desirable form of Torah and mitzvos is lishmah (but which needs to be preceded with shelo lishmah). However, the ‘other side of the coin’ is not explained by the Sages: what our approach should be towards worldly matters. When we need to make use of this world, do we need to make use of it lishmah, or shelo lishmah?

Unlike Torah and mitzvos, when we deal with worldly matters, we need to use the approach of “shelo lishmah”. When we approach Torah and mitzvos, it should be with the intention of doing them lishmah, but it is just that from shelo lishmah we can arrive at lishmah.

The definition of lishmah and shelo lishmah appears to be as follows. Lishmah is that when I do something, I am doing it for the sake of the action that I am doing. Shelo lishmah is that I am doing something now for a different purpose; where I am using the current action as a means to get to a different goal.

The Sages state that This World resembles a hallway, and the Next World resembles a palace. This World is only a means to get to a greater end, just like a hallway. Thus, anything we use on This World is therefore meant to be used shelo lishmah – for another purpose, which is higher.

The Mesillas Yesharim states that a person was created to bask in the pleasure of connection with Hashem, and this is the true good, and whatever else people think is good is worthless. Therefore, explains the Mesillas Yesharim, everything on this world is only a means which we must use for peace of mind. The purpose of each thing on this world is to help our Torah and mitzvos. So we are meant to use everything on this world for another purpose, which is a higher purpose.

If one uses this world for the sake of simply using this world – for example, if he is jealous, desirous, and seeking honor – what he is really doing? He is using the power of lishmah in the wrong place. He is connecting to these actions for the sake of experiencing these actions. He will enjoy the pleasures of this world for the sake of enjoying the gross physical pleasure. He will want honor not because he recognizes the higher purpose of honor, but simply because he wants his own honor. This is the opposite of a true life. The true, inner life is to use this world only for a higher purpose, and not for the purpose of simply enjoying this world for its own sake.

Our soul has two layers in it – a power to act lishmah, and a power to act shelo lishmah. If you read the letters of the Chazon Ish, you can see much about this concept, and that this is how he mainly viewed life.

The Vilna Gaon lists 70 forces of the soul, but these are just the branches. The roots of the soul are either one of these two powers – lishmah, and shelo lishmah.

A false kind of life is when one uses both of these powers in the wrong place. He uses the power of lishmah for this world, by using this world for the sake of experiencing this world. He eats simply for the sake of eating, he sleeps in order to sleep, and he enjoys all pleasures on this world “lishmah” in the sense that he’s enjoying this world for its own sake and for no other purpose. But when it comes to learning Torah and doing mitzvos, instead of learning Torah lishmah and doing mitzvos lishmah, he acts shelo lishmah! He learns Torah in order to get honored, or to get rewarded, etc. One who lives habitually, without ever thinking and reflecting, will want to experience this world “lishmah” but he will relate to the spiritual with intentions that are “shelo lishmah”.

This is not just a thought. It is a deep understanding about the inner workings of the soul, which are subconsciously motivating a person. The more a person is a baal avodah (one who is consciously and actively involved with serving the Creator), the more he is aware of his intentions, if they are coming from lishmah or shelo lishmah.

In contrast to this, a true life is when a person uses this world shelo lishmah – for a different purpose than simply using this world, and instead making use of it for a higher purpose. He eats, drinks and sleeps not just to stay healthy, and he enjoys it too (as we see from oneg Shabbos), but he is not doing it for the sake of experiencing the physical enjoyment. He is doing these actions also so that he can have the energy to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. He is using this world only so that he can take care of the needs of his body and “animal soul” (nefesh habehaimis), so that he will be physically and emotionally healthy, for the higher purpose of being able to serve the Creator. Thus, he is using this world “shelo lishmah” – he is not using the world for its own sake, but as a means to a greater end.

When it comes to Torah learning and mitzvos, though, one needs to make use of the power of lishmah. When doing mitzvos, he needs to be connected to the act of the mitzvah itself. When learning Torah, instead of learning it for honor or reward or even to go to the World To Come (which is a subtle level of shelo lishmah), he learns it lishmah – he learns Torah for its own sake. Understandably, he must do so with a higher sense of purpose: that it is the will of the Creator that he learn Torah and do mitzvos. In short, when one is learning Torah, he must do so for the sake of the Torah learning and not for any other purpose, and when he does mitzvos, he must do so only out of a connection to the mitzvah.

Lishmah Vs. Shelo Lishmah – An Issue of Centeredness

These two abilities of the soul, lishmah and shelo lishmah, can also be understood on a deeper level.

Shelo lishmah is really a confusion of motivations. The person who acts shelo lishmah is doing an act but his intention is for something else. It is like a person who is davening to Hashem but he is spacing out, so his mind and heart are elsewhere. He is split between several places. His body is in one place, his mind is in another place, and his heart is another. Shelo lishmah is therefore not just a thought, but a level of perception in the soul, in which a person splits himself, by doing one thing and intending for something else. This is the depth of a “world of disparity” in terms of the soul.

Lishmah is when a person’s actions and thoughts are intertwined, when his outer and inner layers are integrated. So lishmah is not just a thought. It is a result of purity of heart, of purifying one’s desires. But on a subtler level, as we are explaining here, lishmah and shelo lishmah are about how centered one is when he does something. Shelo lishmah is when a person is mixed up: he does one thing, but his mind and heart are thinking or desiring something else. Lishmah is when a person’s inner forces (mind and heart) are integrated into what he is doing.

This is the secret of menuchas hanefesh (serenity of those) which is experienced by those who learn Torah lishmah. When each of the soul’s forces is in its proper place, this is the deep state of menuchas hanefesh.

The Soul’s Exile – The Inevitable “Shelo Lishmah” On This World

There are two exiles in Creation. The simple level of the exile is the exile of the Jewish people amongst the nations: the exiles of Egypt, Babylonia, Media-Persia, Greece, Edom\Rome, Yishmael (the Arab dominion) and Erev Rav (the Mixed Multitude) – this is the order of exiles as listed by the Vilna Gaon. But there is an additional exile which is deeper: the exile of the soul to the body. Our soul comes from Heaven, and its very descent into this world is exile for the soul.

The simple understanding of the soul’s exile is because it came from above, and it came down to this world, a lowly place, so the soul is not found in its proper place. But exile is not only with regards to a place – it can also exist on a more conceptual level. The soul’s exile to the body on this world is not simply a change of location for the soul. It is an exile to the soul because its very perception, which comes from a higher world, is now mixed with the way the body perceives reality. The fact that the soul inhabits the body is already a profound exile for the soul. This world is compared to darkness, but the soul comes from Heaven, a place of light where there is no darkness.

This World is like a hallway, meaning that our perception from the view of this world is like a hallway, and the Next World is like a palace, which is the higher and truer perception.

The sefer Ruach Chaim explains that a person must learn Torah and do mitzvos shelo lishmah, because it is impossible for a person to begin with lishmah. One must begin from shelo lishmah and aspire to reach lishmah. What is the depth of this? When are found on this world, which is like a hallway, our primary motivation which we always start out with is shelo lishmah. This is the depth of the soul’s exile – the fact that it must begin with shelo lishmah when learning Torah and doing mitzvos.

Beloved: The Power To Act Lishmah

One of the 48 ways in acquiring the Torah is to be “beloved”. What is the depth of this?

Consider the following. If a person gives a gift to someone, and his friend gives him back a gift in return, what are the intentions of these people? The first person gave the gift for some ulterior motivation, so even when the second person gives him a gift back, it isn’t out of love. Why not? The main obstacle that prevents people from genuinely loving each other is because they are connecting to each other from a place of shelo lishmah. Therefore, when the first person gave a gift to his friend, it wasn’t for the sake of fulfilling his friend’s needs. It was for some ulterior motivation that the giver has.

Just as a person may be learning Torah shelo lishmah and he “uses” the Torah for various purposes (other than learning Torah for its own sake), so does he give a gift to others with intentions that are shelo lishmah. He acts towards Hashem with an intention to receive something in return, and he will act the same way with his friends. He will obviously not become beloved to others.

Who is a person that becomes beloved to others? It is when one serves Hashem for the sake of serving Hashem, and not to get something out of it. When he learns Torah, it is for the sake of learning Torah itself, lishmah. When he does the mitzvos, it is for the sake of doing the mitzvah. As a result, he will act with lishmah when it comes to his interpersonal relationships as well. When he does a nice thing for another person, he is doing it for that person’s good, and not for his own good.

When one learns Torah and does the mitzvos and he is motivated by lishmah, his interpersonal relationships with others will also be lishmah, and such a person will be beloved to others. This is the quality of “beloved” which is one of the 48 ways to acquire the Torah. The ways to acquire the Torah are not the kinds of acquisition which we use to acquire something from the outside. The ways to acquire the Torah are really inner changes in one’s soul. When one changes his inner psyche, he becomes ready to receive the Torah.

The Two Root Powers We Received At Har Sinai

These words, understandably, cannot apply to every person [since each person is at a different spiritual level]. But we must understand that at Har Sinai, a higher root was revealed.

There are 613 mitzvos, which branched out of the Ten Commandments. Rav Saadya Gaon says that all 613 mitzvos were contained in the Ten Commandments, and even more so, all Ten Commandments were contained in the first two commandments, of “I am Hashem your G-d” and “You shall not have any other gods.” From Hashem’s voice, we heard only these two commandments. The rest was through the voice of Moshe. Thus, the roots of the giving of the Torah were “I am Hashem your G-d” and “You shall not have any other gods.”

Throughout the days of the year, a person is involved with the 613 mitzvos, through exertion in Torah study about the 613 mitzvos in all their details. However, when it comes the time of the giving of the Torah, there is no involvement with the details of the 613 mitzvos. Rather, it is the revelation of their root. The giving of the Torah is the revelation of the roots of the mitzvos. There are only two roots – “I am Hashem your G-d” and “You shall not have any other gods.” The rest of the Torah is the “commentary” of these two root commandments.

On a deeper level, these two root commandments correspond to the two root powers of the soul, lishmah and shelo lishmah, as we have been explaining here until now. “I am Hashem your G-d” represents lishmah, and “You shall not have any other gods” represents shelo lishmah.

In Conclusion

May the Creator give us the strength, together with all the Jewish people, to receive the Torah, and with the greatest depth – both in the collective unit of souls of the Jewish people, as well as in each individual soul.

If one has exerted himself in Torah study in the year 5776, he will certainly receive the Torah on a higher level when it comes 5777. A higher level of Torah than the year before doesn’t only mean more Torah study (although that is also important); it is more about getting further and further into the depths of the Torah [through learning Torah lishmah]. When one learns Torah at this deeper level, he will have both greater quantity and greater quality in Torah.

May we all merit together with the rest of the Jewish people to receive the Torah, and merit to hear “From Zion comes forth the Torah, and the word of Hashem from Jerusalem.”